In Memory

This is in memory of my beloved Geo Metro, lovingly referred to as "the egg," who died this morning in a dramatic turn of events that unfolded right in front of my house. Her life span was long, 1991 - 2007, and many memories and adventures were atop her four tires.

A Haiku:
Driving merrily along
A girl and her egg
A most faithful companion.

This morning I awoke to the dreaded words that I knew were coming any day, "Janell, your car is dead." The words were spoken by my mother just minutes after my father had attempted to drive the egg to work. I thought I had many more years with my beloved automobile, or at least a few months, but alas this was not to be. It seems that my father had just made it out of the driveway when the shaft connecting the transmission and the front tire broke loose, rendering the car completely useless. He lost all control of the car, luckily however, he was only going about 3 miles an hour. To fix it is completely out of the question. It already needed a new radiator, an operation that would probably cost more than the $350 that the car was actually worth, according to Kelly Blue Book. Adding to that the cost of fixing whatever may need fixing now, the total cost of the repairs would probably be about 4 to 5 times the actual retail price of the car. My parents keep telling me that it isn't worth it and there is no way the car is getting fixed, and on a practical level I agree, although even if I didn't it's not like I have the money needed to fix it, but I can't help feeling that no cost is too great, that the car is indeed priceless. I'm fully aware that it's silly of me to be so attached to a possession, but it's the only car I've ever had, the only car I've ever really enjoyed driving. In five years she has never once let me down, except for that one time at 1:00 in the morning when my alternator belt broke and my mom had to come get me. She has even withstood a small run in with a mailbox and a larger run in with a Dodge Durango. But she held her own and came out with a few scars that I am convinced only made her more beautiful. I shall miss her hatchback that I could never open, her lack of power anything, her lovely decals, her 7 gallon gas tank, her 3 cylinder engine, and even her wobbly tire (a result of the run in with the Durango) that sometimes shook the car so badly when I drove too fast (too fast being 65 mph) that I thought I might die. She will live on in my memory as the best first car a girl could have. Viva el huevo!

Christmas and Stuff

Well, I had one fantastic Christmas. On the one hand it was sort of sad because since all of us have grown up we don't do all the traditions that used to make Christmas so wonderful; but on the other hand it was great to be home and hang out with the family for a day. We actually opened up gifts last night so that we could sleep in this morning (one of our long-lasting traditions is to get up at 6:00 am to open gifts, apparently opening them on Christmas afternoon is out of the question). We started the day out with a wonderful brunch, the highlight of which was oyster stew. I love that stuff and am determined that we should have it more than just Christmas morning. We then proceeded to do what Miller's do best: play games. First we learned how to play cribbage. Then we moved onto Risk and ended with two games of Ticket to Ride, a very fun game that we just got this year, I would describe it as a mix between Risk and Monopoly, but more fun than either. We also spent a good part of the past two days playing games, including: Trivial Pursuit (which I won, thank you very much), Scategories, Quoridors, more Ticket to Ride and others that I can't remember. Much fun was had by all. In all it was one of the better Christmas's that I have experienced in the recent past. It was especially good to be with my family after spending last year in Spain (not that that wasn't wonderful, ha).

Moving on...
I am getting restless. This restlessness could be attributed to the following factors: 1) I have been home for a month with nothing to do and it's getting old, 2) I only have 6 days until I leave for Turkey and I am quite excited about it, 3) I tend to get restless easily and am always wanting to move onto the next thing. However, I think that the reason is deeper than any of the mentioned things. I feel a very deep restlessness, if that makes sense, like I'm not satisfied with something, like I should be living life differently. I feel like I should be further along in life than I currently am. It's hard for me to see my friends who went into college right out of high school, to see that they only have 3 semesters until they graduate, to know that I could be 3 semesters away from graduation instead of...I don't even know how many. It's hard for me not to wonder how my life could have been different if I would have chosen different paths. If I wouldn't have gone to RBC, if I wouldn't have gone into REACH, if I wouldn't have accepted the staff position with SEND. I'm not saying I'm not happy or even that I've made the wrong choices. In fact, I feel deep down in my gut that I made the right choices, that I should be very content with where I am because this is exactly where I am supposed to be. I'm simply saying that now and then I get to thinking about the alternatives. I realize that if I had gone right into a four-year college, not only would I be a different person, have totally different friends, and probably have different goals and views on life, but I would also probably be no closer to graduating than I am now, given my record for changing my mind about these things. In the long run it doesn't really matter. I've made the choices that I've made and there's no turning back; I really don't think that I would turn back if I could.

In other news, I shall be working for the next few days. I shall be taking inventory at the hardware store that my dad works at. It's not a particularly wonderful job, it mostly consists of counting for 8 hours a day. But it's a few days out of the house and it's a nice way to make money without a whole lot of effort. How nice.

One of the most ridiculous things ever.

As my father was reading the newspaper tonight he came across a Letter to the Editor which he shared with me. It is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever read. There is not much more I can say about it, I'm nearly speechless. Read for yourself [my observations appear in brackets].

Headline: Always remember, guns don't kill people

"Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Once again conservative Republicans and National Rifle Association members need to remind the "hand wringers" of this simple fact.
Just because a couple of nut-jobs shot some people doesn't mean we should give up our God-given right to own assault weapons.
You can be sure the God-hating anti-gun liberal media types (like the Associated Press) will soon be trying to influence the public and our elected leaders to take away the best means of self-protection we have. The evil liberal agenda is focused on just one thing - to take away our guns.
Well, I ask you, why did God include gun ownership when he wrote the Constitution [I wasn't aware that Thomas Jefferson was part of the Trinity]. Any competent historian knows about his basic right just like any conservative Republican knows that God intended the United States of America to be a "Christians only" country [wow, one of the most inflammatory things I had ever heard, then I read on].
If Jesus were alive today I bet he'd have an assault weapon or two stashed away or at least snub-nose revolver in an ankle holster [yeah, that whole "loving your enemy" thing was just figurative anyway].
Thank God we have at least one pro-gun friend in state government. The next time you run into conservative Republican Rep. "Johnny long-gun" Ulmer encourage him to introduce legislation that would constitutionally guarantee only registered Republicans the right to own and use assault weapons [this is one of the scariest things I have ever heard].
Here's a holiday suggestion for conservatives - how's about an "assault weapons only" gift exchange. Don't even bother wrapping 'em, just lay 'em under the tree or in the manger [oh no you didn't] with a full magazine and a freshly chambered round. You should consider giving your house a Christmas gift, a "just in case" gun rack over ever door and window.
Conservative Republican NRA members like Dick Cheney know the importance of preparedness. After all, it isn't a question of if the forces of evil will attack, but when my fellow patriots.
Liberals keep trying to connect guns to mass killings [I really don't understand the connection].
Now let's be real. That shooter in Nebraska could have just as easily tossed his victims off the third floor balcony or dropped bricks on unsuspecting shoppers below. And the shooter in Colorado could've plowed into the church with his car, but nobody says anything about taking away bricks or cars[actually, anti-brick is the top quality I'm looking for in my Presidential candidate]! Besides, that church guy was carrying only one thousand rounds of assault weapon ammo. If people had any sense they'd wait till he ran out of ammo or rushed him when he'd stop to reload. Hello!

This was sent into the Goshen News by Gerald Joldersma of Goshen, IN. It appeared on Friday, November 14, 2007.

Sadly, I am convinced that this person is quite serious. Around the line about putting your assault rifles in the manger I started thinking/hoping that maybe, just maybe, this was all sarcastic wit. However, I'm afraid this is not the case. If it is, all I can do is give mad props to Gerald Joldersma.

The Finer Things Club, Goshen Chapter

Sorry about the absense of posts in the past few weeks. I am currently at home with pretty much nothing to do, so there's not much to blog about. However, this evening that all changed.

It all began as Jason, Chadwick, and I were sitting at The Brew enjoying some coffee (or chai as the case may be). Chadwick mentioned that he thought drinking wine while eating cheese and bread sounds nice. We all agreed but lamented the fact that none of us know anything about wine. So, naturally we turned to wikipedia. After learning a bit about wine, we decided that we should act on Chadwick's idea and purchase some wine, bread, and cheese and attempt to act cultured; hence the birth of the Goshen Chapter of The Finer Things Club. We all ventured on over to Chalet and asked an employee what his opinion was, since that is what wikipedia suggested we do. He let us sample a few that they had open and the one that caught our fancy was a 2006 (it's a good year) Riesling. It was a sweeter wine, but not too sweet, and it was wonderfully delicious. We then headed on over to the grocery store and bought some french bread and swiss cheese. A lovely time was had by all and I think we began a wonderful thing. We have a long way to go in the culture department, but hey, it's a journey.

Wonderful...and the not so wonderful

Two very wonderful things happened to me yesterday.
1: Angela and I finally purchased our tickets to Turkey. Two, round-trip tickets to Istanbul's Ataturk airport with stops in Detroit and Amsterdam. We got them for very cheap (around $700.00) and on the way home we might have enough time to venture outside the Amsterdam airport and see a bit of the city! We also heard from Joanna who may be able to take the entire two weeks we will be there off so she can show as around and travel the country with us. Needless to say, I'm incredibly excited!

2: Well, I have known for some time that the responsible thing to do with my month off in December would be to try to make some money. However, the thought of going back to my old job was really causing me to be quite irresponsible. So I've been praying that there would be some way that I could make money while I am home without going back to the Blue Gate. Yesterday I was sitting around when I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was the manager of a coffee shop that I had applied to early last summer but that I had never heard from. She said that they were looking for some good part-time help and was wanting to know if I would be interested. I informed her that I currently live in Ohio but that I would be home in December and available to work if they need someone really short term. I was, of course, expecting her to say that they couldn't use me for that short a time period, but instead she answered with, "I think you're an answer to prayer!" So I have a meeting with her this weekend and I am pretty much excited. God is good.

In other news: all the teams have left us, except for Indonesia, and today we leave them. On Tuesday all the teams flew out and we were left here to cope with the winter months alone. It was terribly sad to see them all go, but I'm also excited for them and the adventures they shall have. I am also excited for the winter months here, it's looking like we should be fairly busy. The Indonesia team had visa troubles so they are starting their outreach here in Columbus before leaving in a week. Since it's technically outreach and their outreach is here right now, I'm getting kicked out of the house and will be wandering the streets aimlessly until tomorrow morning when I return home. How exciting.

Moving on...

I recently got into using Picasa to store my photos and therefore have been working a lot with the photos on my computer, sorting and making albums and whatnot. Since most of my pictures are from Spain, I have been thinking about Spain a lot recently. I realized that in some ways I am still going through re-entry stuff....or at least I think that's what it is. I realized that I can recall many things from Spain with astonishing clarity, while I cannot remember some of the larger details for the life of me. For example, as I read through my journal entries from my time in Spain, or look through photos, I can remember minute details from any given day. I can read one fairly insignificant sentence in my journal and suddenly remember every detail about the day that I wrote it: how I was feeling, what I was wearing, where we had gone that day, who I had talked to; some of the most insignificant things really. However, I cannot, for the life of me, remember the name of the street that intersects the street that I lived on half a block down. It kills me that I cannot remember because it was a street that I used daily, we talked about it all the time. I know that it starts with an "m," but that's about it. The fact that I can't remember the name doesn't bother me as much as the realization that, as time goes on, I'm going to start forgetting more and more. There will come a day when I won't be able to remember what the city looked like from our roof top, or what the name of the grocery store was that we shopped at everyday, or what anyone looks like. All somewhat insignificant things, but it's the life I lived for 6 months, somehow it seems important to me.

I've also been realizing what an effect REACH has had on my life. Significant changes occurred in my life in 9 months. My mindset underwent changes, my personality underwent changes; basically who I am underwent changes in some way, shape or form, nothing of me was left completely untouched. I'm not saying that this is a bad thing, it's actually a very good thing; it just complicates life in many ways. I'm realizing that it's a lot harder to live when I'm more worried about what God wants from me than with what I want to do. I think it would be a lot easier to live thinking only of myself and my wants. I'm not saying it would be more fulfilling, just easier. I'm realizing that I don't know how to relate to people who I was really close to a year ago because they don't understand where I've been. I find myself avoiding people because it's easier than explaining why I'm different. Nine months of my life were lived in a way that few understand. Only 4 people in the world can really understand me when I talk about the six months I spent in Spain.

Sorry, this is kind of heavy and I'm depressing myself a bit, so I think I'm going to end this here.

Hmmm

It has been way too long since I have had a blog. I sort of miss it, although I'm pretty sure that not many have missed reading my ramblings. Anyway, I have a week and a month off, so I figured that with all the extra spare time that I now have I should have plenty of time to think and write...or sleep a lot.

The highlight of my very recent life was a nice trip to Chicago. My uncle, who has resided there for over 10 years now, is moving to Costa Rica to get married and therefore my parents, younger brother, and I made one last trip out to see him. We ate at a wonderful Mediterranean restaurant and then had breakfast at a Swedish restaurant and I got a few wonderful books out of the deal. The most notable additions to my growing library include: Turkish Reflections by Mary Lee Settle, The Classic Slave Narratives, Thoughts in Solitude by Thomas Merton, There Are No Children Here by Alez Kotlowitz, Iberia by James Michener, and a rather impressive Rand McNally International Atlas. I was quite pleased.